I'm going to jail i love you
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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