Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize