help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
