Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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