dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
