I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We got so high we made milksteak
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
