I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
