I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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