My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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