This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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