hell yes lets make some ravioli
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
