drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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