halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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