he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
