you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize