i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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