in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
