He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
