I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
