I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
