u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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