Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
