Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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