I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
