Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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