These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
