she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
