I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
