His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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