Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
