When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
