There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
