I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
