Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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