OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
