it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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