Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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