yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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