its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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