his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
