yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
