We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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