I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
