We're facebook friends in real life
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize