Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
