im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
