Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
