haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
