I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
These tits shall not be calmed
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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