Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
