A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
