I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
