Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think I am morally bankrupt
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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