I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
