we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
