I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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