Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
two words: eviction party
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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