If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
