the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I am available for nakedness
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
