my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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